Blue lights
by darkydarkblade
Summary: After laying low in germany for a couple of years, he decided to move again. Vienna. This city was his new refuge. Never had he anticipated, to meet someone as similar to her at work. A story of loss, hurt, arguments, drama and possibly comfort? Set after SOTL at the time Hannibal would have played.
1. Running out of time

Dear readers, this is my first real attempt at a fanfiction and I'll try my best to let my playthings stay in character. I don't want to spoil the fun, but Clarice won't appear in person in this story. If you don't like it, please don't bother to read. I am actually afraid of hate reviews. Due to my limited English skills, I know that my writing style isn't going to be the best. Native german over here *waves* Nonetheless, I am really looking forward to constructive critique and any suggestions are very welcome.

I hope you'll enjoy!

* * *

**Running out of time**

The ambulance vehicle pulled up in front of the emergency room of the university medical centre in Vienna. As the driver turned off the emergency lights, the backdoors of the vehicle flung open forcefully and a female paramedic was jumping out seconds later. Pulling out the stretcher with the assistance of her coworker, she held up an infusion bag that was connected to an i.v. in the patients arm.

Checking over his vital signs on the monitor, she ordered her colleague „Hurry, don't bother with the oxygen." _Damn it, the blood pressure dropped to 80. _Wiping some sweat off her forehead with her free arm, she continued to put pressure on the infusion bag. The portable oxygen tank got left behind at the ambulance as both paramedics sprinted with the patient inside the emergency room. Two nurses were rushing their way, right after they entered the building.

„Car accident?" One of them asked briskly, while the other one got hold of the infusion bag.

„Yes." _But you knew that already._

„Trauma room one." Alarms from the ecg monitoring went off which caused the medical team to pick up speed, passing multiple doors on their way.

„Arrhythmia." The paramedic stated. Despite the patient's unconciousness, she kept on talking to him „Hang on buddy, don't give up, you made it this far!" _Please stay with us._ She thought frantically.

Trauma room one was finally there, a turn to the right and they were in.

A team consisting of three doctors was waiting for them. Taking in the scene, the anesthetist immediately snapped at the paramedic, while the nurses started to switch the monitoring and the surgeons prepared to take x-rays. „Where is the oxygen? WHY is there no oxygen connected to his mask?" Seconds later, oxygen got attached to the patient's mask.

„No time, load and go. Simon, male, eleven years old, got hit by a car…"

„And no second i.v." He interrupted her venomously while everyone else got to work.

She was taken aback but nonetheless tried to proceed with her report. „Approximately 50km/h. Airway's free, breathing frequency 25, thorax trauma, possible internal bleeding, broken hip, moderate head injury. Initially, blood pressure of 100, dropped to 80, blood oxygenation dropping, arrhythmia." While talking, she watched the medical team carefully lifting the boy over to the prepared stretcher, someone put another i.v. in his arm, preparations for narcosis were made and blood samples were taken. There was blood everywhere. „We immobilized his neck, put on a pelvic sling, gave oxygen, put in one i.v. and…"

„Yes, ONE!" The anesthetist interrupted again.

„Out." An icecold voice suddenly cut through the room.

_I don't recognize this voice. _The paramedic turned around and took a closer look at one of the surgeons. She had never met him before.

The surgeon was fixing the anesthetist with a look that could freeze over a lake.

„Anesthesia ready" Announced one of the nurses.

„You will leave this room and stop interfering with the treatment."

In the meantime, medication got applied.

With a shocked look on his face, the anesthetist began to protest.

„Now." The command echoed off the walls like thunder. The unknown surgeon turned to intubate the patient himself, after pushing the other doctor aside.

_Who is this man? _The paramedic exchanged a disbelieving look with her colleague.

A nurse in front of a computer at the back of the room spoke up „Blood group A negative."

Completing the intubation the surgeon ordered „Two blood units. We will move to surgery once they're here."

Turning to the paramedic he was looking her up and down with a calculating and piercing look that made her skin crawl. „You will monitor the ventilation ." She nodded and moved to the head.

Alarms were speeding up and ringing louder in her ears. _Come on Simon, hang on, you are a tough guy._

„Bloodpressure dropping. Heartbeat up at 180... 200."

„Cardiac arrest, start CPR."

The time seemed to slow down as the defibrillator got charged.

„Stand back." Shock, the boys body twitched.

„No pulse, charge. Stand back" Shock.

Charge, shock. Nothing.

She lost track of how long they tried to revive the small, demolished body. It was fruitless.

„Time of death 4:31pm." Stated the surgeon in charge, while removing the bloodied gloves from his hands.

She stared at the lifeless body in front of her with a lump in her throat. _Our work is senseless. We could do nothing to save him. Did we do the wrong thing? Did we…did I make a mistake? At least I can do one more thing for you. _Reaching out to his head, she closed his eyes gently. Through this action she wanted to show respect to the dead body and it calmed herself in some kind of way. Endless thoughts and questions were running through her head.

„Kira?" the feeling of a hand on her shoulder made her jump.

It was her colleague looking as exhausted as she felt. „I'll go outside… start cleaning." He gulped. „Take your time." She nodded once.

After finishing her paperwork she took in her surroundings. The room was almost empty, compared to 10 minutes earlier. Only the dead body, covered by a white blanket, and the unknown surgeon remained. Filling in all necessary information about the case, he sat in front of one of the computers with his back to her. Kira stood still for a moment and contemplated the doctor unnoticed, or so she thought.

She didn't know him yet but that wasn't unusual though. Riding to different ER's in a shift meant working with plenty of different people. One couldn't know every doctor in all of the hospitals. Their team brought most of the patients to the university center, being the biggest hospital in Vienna, and after working for the ambulance service for seven years she knew most of the staff.

_He must be new. What a surprise that he is standing up against that neurotic dimwit already. He's an interesting character for sure and a competent doctor as far as I can tell. Although that couldn't save the boy either… _

Gaze traveling over the white blanket, a huge sigh escaped her and her chest felt constricted. The feeling grew in intensity. Not wanting to disturb the doctor, she turned to leave quickly, without saying anything.

As the door to trauma room one closed, the doctor started to move in his chair. Before, half of the room had been visible to him in the reflection of a black computer screen. He'd been watching her every action. With her presence gone, his shoulders relaxed a fraction.


	2. Happy Weekend

**Happy weekend**

Atop the hospital's roof, Kira lit her second cigarette. Inhaling deeply, she kept staring into nothingness. The tight feeling in her chest didn't lessen. Smoking usually calmed her down. It was her routine. When her job was finished, she took a smoke and went on. Today, it was different. Losing a patient occurred every once in a while. It was ugly, yes, but that was life. It was part of the job, they were trained for it, yes, but every time was different. Every patient was different. Old people die, middle aged people die, children… newborns.

_Why. _Kept resurfacing on her mind. _Why did he have to be so young? He had so many options, so much left to experience. To live… Stop it! _Wrestling with one's own thoughts wasn't easy but this train of thought was definitely the wrong one. She needed to stop thinking about it. He'd been just another patient, it was her job for god's sake, it shouldn't be a big deal. But it was. Because of his age, because she started to imagine which situations the boy would never experience, although she knew, that she shouldn't. It hurt to have his face imprinted in her head and she knew it was going to haunt her in her sleep, for the rest of the week. A tear slipped through her lashes and made it's crystal clear way down to her chin.

_I am sorry Simon. _Kira lifted her gaze up, towards the sky. There wasn't a single cloud in sight.

A beeping sound interrupted the internal battle to shut off her thoughts. Her pager.

„Car ready u coming?" read the message.

Closing her eyes, she tried to pull herself together once more. _Only 2 hours to go and then I am off for the weekend. _A long exhale followed. Success. Reminding herself, that the end of the shift was approaching, her chest didn't feel as constricted anymore.

„Yes" was her answer. She removed all traces of tears and adjusted her ponytail, before heading down again.

* * *

Upon entering her flat, the first thing she did, was to drop her backpack. Her shoes followed immediately. Calling out „Steve!?" she was met with silence. _Mhh. The TV is on. _

Rounding the corner, she found her boyfriend sound asleep on the couch, in front of the TV. A gentle kiss on the cheek didn't wake him, so she settled on softly rubbing his arm and whispering. „Honey, wake up. Let's move to the bedroom." Sleepy brown eyes were fixed on her green one's.

„What time is it?" A yawn.

„Umm… 9:20." Told her the watch around her wrist. She presented him with a loving smile, even if she didn't feel like it after today's events. „Move to bed with me?"

„I've been waiting for you. Again." His mouth was pressed into a thin line.

She sighed. „I know honey. It's-"

He got up and pushed past her. At the door, he spared her a disappointed glance. „There's some pasta in the fridge."

Her heart dropped, as she watched him leave. It wasn't a new occurrence, but every time he did this, it hurt her deeply.

She thought about the food and felt bile rise in her throat. No, eating was out of the question, except if she wanted to empty her stomach straightaway.

Before heading to the bathroom, to take a shower, she decided to approach her boyfriend once more. Searching for his hand beneath the blanket, she sat down on the bed besides him. „Steve… I am sorry. We got an emergency ten before seven." She held her breath.

„I know that you are sorry. I am tired to have this conversation. It's always me, waiting for you. Care to imagine how that feels?" His tone was a little friendlier. „Was it worth it, this time?" His eyes weren't accusing her anymore, that was something.

„Yes." For a fraction of a second she looked like she was going to smile. „We saved a kind old lady with a stroke."

„Huh. Well then, good for her. Are you going to shower before joining me?"

„Definetly."

„Good night then." He bent up to give her a short peck on the lips, before turning around.

The hot shower helped to relax her sore muscles but sleep wouldn't come for hours this night.

The following morning went quite peacefully. At the breakfast table, she touched only coffee. That wasn't extraordinary and Steve didn't comment on it, just gave her empty plate a lingering look.

„Do you have any plans for today Kira?"

She set her mug down. „Actually I would like to stay in for today and relax a bit."

„So, we are staying at home for the whole weekend?" That accusing look again.

„You can go out if you like, call the boys, but I'd rather rest for now if you don't mind."

„Fine. What happend to, oh, let's visit the theatre on saturday Steve. We haven't been there for a long time and I am really looking forward to it?" He crossed his arms.

She replied with a calm voice. „That was before my shift yesterday. We could go tomorrow if you want to." Kira would have loved to hide underneath her bedcovers on sunday as well, but she would do it for him, if it made him happy.

He studied her face. „Yes, I would like that. Are you okay?"

„Sure." She cracked a smile.

He was texting someone with his phone. „Alright. I am going to meet up with George and buy some cards for the performance tomorrow night. Have a nice and relaxing day." A kiss on the cheek and he was out of the door.

„See you later..." Kira's eyes teared up.

The day passed slowly. She was reading most of the time. For lunch, she finally managed to eat something and took a nap afterwards. Her limbs felt tired still, so she stretched out on the couch, to watch one of her favourite tv series. She didn't have the energy for anything else. Her heart ached for the company of her boyfriend and memories of the dead boy surfaced every so often. The evening was pure bliss. Steve returned around 6 pm with a cup of her favorite ice cream and settled on the couch, encircling her in his arms, to join her for a Blacklist marathon. They talked about the series and were laughing together. Her world felt whole again.

* * *

**In rememberance of all the patients, I will never get out of my head. RIP**


End file.
